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Updated: Feb 1, 2022

I know the origins, the meaning of the colors, the scents: I can call them one by one with the name assigned to them, when the earth split like a rind to offer them to the sky. The heat they give off runs through my veins. From amchur, mango powder, to saffron to answer all my needs. A whisper, and they reveal to me secret properties and magical powers "... "The spice sorceress" C. Divakaruni


Sexuality is a fundamental component in our life, aimed mainly at the search for pleasure and procreation, and at the same time capable of satisfying our needs for sweetness, passion, pampering, affection, sensuality and the need to belong. Sexuality perceived since childhood intrigues children who begin to explore their intimacy to discover their own body, for various reasons: pleasure, evacuation stimuli, or consolation to their worries. With puberty and the maturation of secondary sexual characteristics, the growth of desire becomes more and more intense, reaching its peak during adolescence. Auto-eroticism is one of the most common forms in which eroticism communicates our need for sexual fulfillment. Often the auto-erotic practice in children puts parents in serious difficulty who, when confronted on the subject, sometimes do not know what to answer when faced with explicit behaviors to explore their own intimacy. However, we should check these absolutely normal behaviors, suggesting to our little ones that they must be done in their intimacy, without there being intrusion by other peers or adults, strangers and / or acquaintances, and above all to learn their assertiveness, or the ability a terrible no. Learning to adopt the right attitude towards sexuality by involving children through suitable communication sets the basis for a harmonious and positive development towards the awareness of our intimacy. Childhood sexuality from adult sexuality is totally different, and the construction of a healthy sexuality is built from an early age through knowledge and communication suited to the age and culture of belonging.


In adulthood, sexuality is expressed through verbal and non-verbal communication: Courtship is that magical moment that initiates a loving communication and makes us available to be involved in a relationship and attractive towards the other. A happy couple relationship is like a refined and delicious gourmet cooking recipe in which all the ingredients of excellent quality must be dosed in the right measure to be able to satisfy the eyes, heart and mind. The recipe for sexual bliss is based on a perfect balance of the following ingredients:










Our well-being is a sharing of many factors. Every day we take care of our person, nourishing ourselves well, keeping our body in training, dedicating ourselves to love, protecting ourselves adequately from heat and cold, exercising our mind and our skills in the most varied ways, and of course we do not forget ours. social training ground which are relations with others. Utopianically we would like to say that every day it happens like this, unfortunately overwhelmed by life we ​​are sometimes forced to give up something, and most of the time it just happens to be sexuality that pays the consequences. Furthermore, also from a biochemical point of view, the hormonal response that should produce excitement is inhibited by stressful conditions and a hectic life.


To be able to indulge in good sexual functioning, according to Helen Kaplan, a sexologist of the 70s who became famous for her "Triphasic Model of Sexual Life: DESIRE, EXCITATION and ORGASM" it is necessary to temporarily give up control over the environment.

It is therefore evident how stress, anxiety, shyness, shame of one's own body, pregnancies, abortions, inhibition due to religious or cultural reasons, performance anxieties, depression, neurovegetative disorders from simple anemia to more serious disorders can affect the quality of our sexual well-being. . Unfortunately, given that sexuality is an essential part of a dyadic relationship, when our erotic sphere is affected, a communication problem within the couple can easily occur that could be misinterpreted by the partner. It would be useful and healthy to be able to carve out a gap between work and family activities to find time for oneself and the couple. An important detail is before allowing ourselves to the other we must recognize our personal power which means accepting ourselves, taking care of us, valuing our weaknesses, forgiving ourselves, in simpler words, loving ourselves. Having learned with awareness how our erotic desire works, and how unfortunately at the mercy of events we sometimes let ourselves go, this does not mean that we have to stand by and watch the dissatisfaction of our relationships advance, but it must be a stimulus to react. There are many remedies to awaken the dormant passion, rekindle the senses and rediscover the joy of pleasure between the skin and the heart and what better occasion can we reveal if not in the month dedicated to Love?

You must know that the sexual organ par excellence is our brain, it is from here that the desire for attraction or repulsion towards our partners starts. It is the brain that, through hormonal stimulation, releases a neurotransmitter, Dopamine, which is directly responsible for the perception of gratification, pleasure and fulfillment.

Our senses are also particularly involved in the process of erotic attraction. for instance:

  1. Touch through caresses, touches and massages lights up our nerve endings, giving us shivers of pleasure on the skin.

  2. Our olfactory memory by binding in a special way our memories to an olfactory stimulus becomes an attractive source, recognized as a sort of deja vu.

  3. The visual stimuli and the use of imagination, especially if shared, turn on and make the love experience more sparkling and engaging.

  4. The auditory component through the rhythm and the whispered words ignite our desire which increases in a crescendo of passion until it explodes in pleasure enveloping all our senses.

Exercising our senses therefore promotes awareness of the sensations produced by the partner's body, increasing the well-being of both the psyche and the body.


Aside from these tips that can be applied by simply raising awareness a little in what we do and turning off excessive attention to external stimuli, there are naturally valid supplements that can help us regain lost grit.

Between these:

🌱 The 1st place goes to Korean Ginseng, Panax ginseng, also called "root of life" is a plant from East Asia (Korea, China, Siberia) the percentage of its active ingredients titrated in ginsenosides, are useful as tonic-adaptogens (helping the body to better resist stress), moreover by stimulating the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis they produce by reaction the production of corticosteroids, with the consequence of improving physical performance in humans and increasing vascularity, which is reflected in a positive effect for erectile dysfunction. By also reducing prolactin, it increases libido, testosterone levels and even fertility. In postmenopausal women, it does not change the levels of estradiol and follicular hormone, therefore it significantly affects mood by improving sexual function in patients, however it has no functional impact on hot flashes and sweating.


🔴 Attention! ginseng as well as all medicinal plants, has a whole series of contraindications: It is absolutely forbidden in case of arterial hypertension, diabetes, pregnancy, anemia, puberty and women who have undergone mastectomy

🌱The Maca of the Andes, also called Peruvian ginseng, is a root with tonic, stimulating, adaptogenic and anxiolytic properties. The content of its active ingredients titrated in essential oils, alkaloids, sterols, essential amino acids, mineral salts is widely used in asthenia, physical stress and mental fatigue, decreased female desire, erectile dysfunction, prostatic hypertrophy and male infertility. Maca is used successfully in male infertility protocols as it increases sperm count and motility. In women, it helps to regulate the hormonal structure, giving a beneficial action on libido and menopausal disorders, such as slight alterations in mood and anxiety. Also for Maca we report some side effects:

🔴 Forbidden in pregnancy, breastfeeding, cancer, liver and hormonal diseases.

🌱Muira puama: Brazilian plant also called "wood of power" thanks to its richness in alkaloids has a marked aphrodisiac and vasodilating action, and its effectiveness on impotence and nervous pathologies related to stress is also confirmed

🌱Catuaba, a Brazilian plant already used by the Indian Tupi tradition, because it seems to have the power to promote erotic dreams accompanied by a strong sexual desire. Today, scientific research confirms its safe and side effect-free stimulating and aphrodisiac power.

🌱Damiana, a plant of African and South American origin, rich in flavonoids and damianine, acts as a mood tonic, and is effective in countering impotence and psychological frigidity.

🌱Yohimbe, a tree from West Africa, titrated in alkaloids, increases physical and intellectual abilities, as well as stimulating sexual performance. Given its ability to increase genital vascularity, it is active to combat impotence.

🔴 Attention! Prolonged use can cause toxicosis.

🌱Rodiola rosea, also called. "golden root" is a plant that grows in North Asia, the richness of its active ingredients makes it effective in counteracting stressful situations, fatigue, memory, frigidity.

🌱 Guarana, an Amazonian plant rich in caffeine, shows strong stimulating properties at the heart level, increasing the heart rate, at the metabolic level, and at the nervous level, reducing the feeling of fatigue and increasing excitement.

🔴 It is contraindicated in hyperthyroid, hypertensive subjects, and with gastric and intestinal problems.

💆 If, on the other hand, we want to give ourselves and share a voluptuous moment with our partner, let's think about organizing a sensory journey: 4-handed pampering involving the 5 senses. You will need scented candles that will diffuse a slight fragrance and create the right atmosphere to let yourself go, choose a scented massage oil with essential oils, among the most suitable we find:

♀️ Patchouli, removing anxiety and stress, acts against frigidity.

♂️Zinger, is warming and ignites the passion.

♀️Rosa dissolves tensions and fears and increases desire.

♂️Ylang Ylang, intoxicating and voluptuous, increases the sexual charge, increases arousal and good mood.

♀️Sandal, reducing the feeling of stress, restores the grit and rekindles the passion.

♂️Cedar wood is perfect for both is made up of earthy notes, relieves stress and awakens eros.

♀️ Clary Sage relax and stimulates the imagination. It is a strong euphoric and powerful aphrodisiac. Regulates the hormonal structure in premenstrual syndrome and menopause.

♂️ Neroli, or orange blossom, is the most sublime of the essences, instills confidence and melts anger, awakens the senses, is known as a powerful aphrodisiac.

♀️ Jasmine, rebalances our mood and generates stimulating sensations of well-being especially in contexts of stress and mental and physical overexertion.

The suggestions relating to the use of medicinal plants and essential oils are the result of my twenty years of experience and my previous work experience in the world of herbs. Medicinal plants are the medicine of the past, approach with caution, but above all, always seek advice from a qualified "Spice Wizard".

"The voice of the spice whispers in my ears:" Use everything: mouth, hand, nails, teeth, blinks on the skin, seductive looks. Give and take, flattering, she imitates the great courtesan at the court of Indra, ruler of the gods. She makes him the explorer of that virgin land which is your body, mountains, lakes and cities. You make him invent roads where none existed before. Finally let it penetrate into the place where you are deepest and most unknown, tangle of tendrils, scream of jaguar, disturbing scent of rajanigandha, wild tuberose, wedding and nocturnal flower. Why is love not perhaps the illusion of opening up completely to one another, of abolishing all intolerable distance? "

taken from "The Spice Sorceress" C. Divakaruni


  • Kaplan “Nuove terapie sessuali” Bompiani Editore, Firenze 1991.

  • Libro: Farmacognosia e fitoterapia: basi farmacologiche ed aspetti applicativi. Autori: Mazzanti G, Dell’Agli M, Izzo A. Editore: Piccin Anno: 2020

  • Libro: Dizionario di fitoterapia e piante medicinali. Autori: Campanini E. Editore: Tecniche Nuove Anno: 2012

  • Libro: Fitoterapia: impiego razionale delle droghe vegetali Autori: Capasso F, Grandolini G, Izzo A. Editore: Springer Anno: 2006

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